Stress: the ultimate enemy to having a fun, fulfilled life, health, happiness, good relationships and contribution, just to name a few.
Now there's good stress and bad stress. The good stress is part of the secret of High Performance: living to our highest potential, in integrity with our values and operating at high levels of energy so we can make big impact, love what we do and get more done than we ever thought possible. Now that's the good stuff. Not always easy, often challenging, pushing our buttons but totally worth it.
Then there is the dark side... Setting goals and expectations and living in the attachment to the outcome. Now, that's stress. And often it is very attached to failure, judgement, judging the judgment because we are oh so evolved and why aren't we better than that. There's our boss who's expecting things from us, our team, our clients, our family, friends and of course, we don't want to let anybody down! Now this is where is gets twisted... we tell ourselves it's because we want to be of service, do an amazing job and our ego is having a hay day.
When I am on this band wagon I often get asked: well, what about those goals? I thought I was supposed to set goals, have a plan, work the plan, have results... Yep. You do--without those practices nothing much happens for sure. But then it's about taking it one step further and really, one step back. You set those goals, you make that plan, you work that plan AND you let go of the attachment to the outcome. Guess what? You have no control over the outcome. To be truly effective, productive and attractive, YOU MUST LET GO.
You have to say "no" to your ego, stop feeling sorry for yourself, love your judgment and the judge and entertain the true meaning of surrender. And that is where you can let go of stress and come to peace. Calmness. No drama. True joy. No matter what the outcome.
So here's the test and the proof in the puddin':
When you feel stressed about achieving a certain outcome, use your practice, whatever that is. Meditate, exercise, do yoga, take a walk, have silent time. I use my clarity process. Get neutral and clear about the feeling. And when you feel neutral, test by pushing your own buttons. Ask yourself: So what if I can't reach this result ever? Never close another sale? Never get another client? Never satisfy my boss? Whatever feels like the greatest place of stress, keep diving in until you can truly say you feel clear and at peace.
That's the secret sauce. Dare to do it!